#34 HOT OVER 40! REALITY SHOW BEAUTY - AHEM! 9/28/12

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BEHIND THE K****N KURTAIN  Or (Any) Reality TV Comeliness
---- Real vs Reel beauty

I was getting an infusion and the new young nurse queried, "How does KK look so great when she wakes up?"  I am the only "actress" patient of the infusion unit;  therefore the de facto "expert."  I said to her, "What do you mean?" she replied, "Well she looks soooo beautiful as soon as she is out of bed, do you know any secrets? I never look like that waking up."  I stated matter of factly, "No one does. The secret is hair and makeup and lighting 2 hours before her head hits the pillow to be filmed, oooh soooo dreamily waking up.  Have you noticed the pillowcase is perfect too?"

Nearly toppling out of her rolling stool and into my lap she said, "Impossible!"

I explained what was obvious to me. "Don't you realize that a reality show has nothing to do with reality?"  She was agog. 
Completely  stunned.  She refused to believe me. 
"Really? ", she almost squealled, "Ooohhh nooo, I don't understand. REALLEE?"
 
Do I tear or tug at this point? I decided on a splash of cold water REAL-ity.
I said evenly,   "Look closely.  Those are fake eyelashes honey.  Nobody's skin is that perfect in Hdtv land unless they have special makeup that makes your skin poreless,  botox to make you seamless and subtle highlights and shadows to make you glow... in all the right places.  Never mind the unwrinkled sheets."  
"But" she gasped,  "she is just waking up!"
I saw I needed to be more gentle tearing away the pink tissue of tv land.  One must be careful where fantasies abound....
I explained as carefully as I could that these "reality" shows are scripted. 
"WHAT! How could that be?" she gawped.  
I was thinking, "How can THIS be? " I figured everyone knew none of this was really "real".
Much to my surprise and chagrin I was very, very wrong.   

peek-a-boo-boudoir photography studio
Illinois

Now I like the K's 'kause they are kurvy, and though pretty, I like the fact that they don't fit the hollywood sKary sKinny, beautiful beyond measure standard -  They are savvy, successful businesswomen and I am k-k-keen to that. And Heck! Some reality TV can be kick-ass fun! However, they are as manufactured and marketed as any young or older female with powerful, helpful fleets of "peeps" behind them as any.  I am including K-mom too. This was "A peak behind the camera's curtain" moment if ever there was one. 

This young nurse, (feeling substandard and inadequate, thankyou pop culture!), needed a gentle hand to steer her away from swallowing all the malarcky and understand that she was perfect just the way she was.  Refreshingly pretty, a healthy weight, and a lovely charming personality along with a generous spirit.  In other words, a real beauty and beautiful human being. 

To my horror, another nurse eavesdropped - she is 48.  She believed the same thing.  My heart hiccuped.  "Oh dear," I said to myself, "this is not good at all.  These women are feeling so terrible about themselves." 
My Joan of Arc warrior spirit was surfacing rapidly.
My internal neon billboard blinked, THESE WOMEN MUST BE SAVED!

So I  explained, tenderly, (I did afterall, have a needle stuck in my veins that would have to be removed) how it all worked.  Episode Pitches, writers throwing out ideas, fabricated scenarios, pre-determined drama, scripted key lines, molding an image of glamour and excitement, along with hair, makeup and don't forget wardrobe.  This applies to all of reality TV. There are courses now to teach aspiring celebrealities how to audition and behave. The K's are exemplified here solely because of this nurse's query.

Oh, by the way, I now had an audience of 5 nurses. They all looked a bit stunned.
Yet at the end of this "enlightenment intervention" they told me they now felt relieved.  You see, they thought they were doing something wrong.  They thought the people on TV were just superior and special - and they..... weren't.  These are NURSES for goodness sake who take care of others when they are ill, sick and weak and THESE SPLENDID females were feeling inadequate as women!  I left thinking, "well that is what the blog is all about.  Urging Women to feel satisfied with themselves, to enjoy their uniqueness, and to live life with gusto. "

So please ladies, if you get nothing else from my blogs, know that my intention is to highlight enjoying ones life, and loving yourself by eating healthily, keeping cardio fit, and enjoying everyday, no matter what anyone else says or does.
Forget the movies, the magazines, the models and manufactured icons.
Look at the lovely, kind, smart, funny and real women around you and follow their examples.

You only have one life. 
Live, laugh, love.  Fully, deeply, truly.

Go make plans with a group of gals you love right now and toast yourselves. Do it and create a wonderful memory!       
STRIVE TO FLOURISH!  HUGS JOANNA

Joanna (unretouched ladies- veins, wrinkles, freckles and all,however will admit to makeup and great lighting)

# 26 HOT OVER 40! CELEBRATE YOUR EXISTENCE 7/15/12

BLUE COLLAR BABES
ON YOUR BIRTHDAY

CELEBRATE YOUR EXISTENCE

"I HOPE YOU DANCE"

Songwriters: SANDERS, MARK DANIEL / SILLERS, TIA M.

I love the lyrics to this song.  They speak of joy, taking chances, appreciating the beauty that exists all around you, and simply loving Being.

On your birthday remember to cherish yourself, your loved ones and the simple fact of being alive.
I play this song on my birthday to remind me of what is important in life.  
The purpose of this blog is to share with you my philosophy that it's not just about looking good on the outside, it's about how one chooses to live one's life.  Make choices every day that reflect what good you want to appear not only in your life but in the lives of other's close to home and around the world. 
Find & share the beauty within and without.  

 

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat, but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance ....
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making

Don't let some hell bent heart
 

Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion, always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)

(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

And if you get the chance to sit it out or dance, please do dance, soar, move, exhult, laugh, frolic and sing.

HAPPY BIRTH-DAY -
THE DAY YOU ENTERED THIS WORLD &
ADORNED IT WITH YOUR PRESENCE.

It's July -- HAPPY BDAY AMERICA!

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IMDB www.imdb.me/joannabonaro



#19 HOT OVER 40! PLAN B for BLUE COLLAR BABES 3/15/12

OK SO YOU ARE AN INJURED HOTTIE -

NOW WHAT DO YOU DO?

PLAN A   That's for the highly blessed, the super rich, or those who have great publicity agents and personal trainers. 

PLAN B  -  that's for our special group: BLUE COLLAR BABES. I used to bemoan this, however, I have learned that when life throws us curves, if we love them on our bodies, then we love them anywhere else, too.

WHEN PLAN A GOES ARRAY

I was injured recently while intensely training for a 1/2 Marathon.  Damn!  What to do? What to do?  All my fitness goals for the new year de-railed.  Doctors orders. After bemoaning my fate, I came up with some alternative exercise options even though I did have to give up the marathon in April.  

Plan A ---   running 5-6 miles 5x a week, gradually adding 2 miles a week

                    until I achieved 12 miles with ease.

My fave Brazil Buttlift classes 3x a week for 2 hours each

                   time; along with free weight training on alternating days.

                   Trampoline 2x a week just when watching TV. And anything

                    else I could come up with.  Eating for intense training.

then re-opened old injuries on elbow, shoulder, bicep, neck, and hip.

SOOOOOO ~~~

PLAN B - BE A BLUE COLLAR BABE HOTTIE EVEN WHEN INJURED

Plan B  ---  water aerobics 1x week,  elliptic 30 min. 3x (no arms) on
                   a low incline and effort (Level 5-9 not  12-15), lower body

                   weight machine training 2x a week. Stairs (19 floors) also very long, hilly 2-4 mile walks.  Eating Heaps of steamed broccolli and stringbeans.

Goal -- Healing... then....getting ripped bikini season of course! 

A Blue Collar Babe Over 40,50 or even 60 (Helen Mirren is an icon!) - wears bikini's proudly.  

You can do it. Transforming is a specialty of mine.  I believe in you.

(Don't worry we will be in touch for that - failure is not an option)

I saw this card in the store and had to pick it up -- it encapsulates this philosophy:

Life is all about how you handle plan B.

by Suzy Toronto

#20 HOT OVER 40! THE SACREDNESS OF STRINGBEANS 4/1/12

 A Joanna Dinner. Notice the Italian Lemon Juice.
Pictures by Joanna Bonaro 

STRINGBEANS - SENSATIONAL,  LOW CALORIE AND WHEN SEASONED ARE A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND.     

What can I say about stringbeans?  I wax poetic.  These have taken me from thick to thin and anything in-between. They are crunchy when raw, so that I satisfy my chewing fetish.  They let me absent mindedly munch when I am reading a book.  (A habit left-over from my 12-19thc English Lit and Acting double major college days - then it was corn muffins, but post 40 means adjustments must be made) 

When micro-waved, (yes I buy STEAMERS microwaveable bags, so that any cleaning up before or after is obliterated.  I believe in less work not more)  and seasoned with  Lemon Juice, garlic, 2 TBLspoons white wine, some H2O, and either curry or red pepper, they make a terrific dinner -- alone or with broiled sole, chicken or salmon.  Sublime!    Low Calorie -- guilt free -- finger food - no fork necessary, mindless, chewy, and tasty!  

Who could ask for anything more?  you live green to save the earth, why not eat green to save your body and your sanity?

When I am healthy and driven, or injured and held back, I rely on them.  When I go ballistic and I need to eat, eat, eat!!!!! and just pig out!!!!!!! - well it doesn't have to be so self-destructive.  It can be green and filling.  Then if I still need a Baci, well, my stomach is full, and the chocolate fix can be sated without eating a whole bar.  Stringbean's bring it back to "what am I doing to myself?" "Do I really want to do this?" (meaning the chocolate cookies or box, for that matter.) And, the next morning, "I am soooo veryyyyy proud of myself! Hurrah!"

So when my girlfriends who are over 40 and trying to lose 5,10, or even 20 pounds and ask "how did you DO it?" , "how do you KEEP IT OFF?", I tell them, hard work, Brazil Buttlift, constant activity, making magnificent food choices, and STRINGBEANS!

Just please don't use oil. If you must -- literally -- a teaspoon will do.  Salt, a smidgen, again, only if absolutely necessary.  Don't ruin the magic by fattening it up.  You will come to look at it as your saviour savory.   It will work for you if you work with it.  Add jalapenos, cumin, curry, oregano, sage, onion powder -- any spice will do.  Whatever works for you for additional taste.  I still prefer lemon overall.   Even if ultimately you give in to weakness, your stomach will still have been filled up by a nutritious, healthy substance, so you will STILL BE CONSUMING LESS.

If stringbeans don't ring your bell, then I suggest, asparagus, broccoli (VERY FILLING), spinach or lettuce.  Learn to love green!!!!!!

Yup! Opened and used. 2 for a filling dinner. So low calorie, quantity is not an issue.
pictures by Joanna Bonaro

JOANNA'S TASTY STRINGBEAN RECIPE:
2 Greenbean Steamers
1/4 cup part water and white wine
Garlic powder
Onion flakes
Red pepper powder or flakes
2 tblspn Lemon Juice or fresh squeezed lemon
Mix and enjoy!

If you are still hungry, 2-3 WASA crackers, with Weight Watchers Swiss Cheese - 2 wedges and even a glass of red or white wine.  Filling, healthy and low cal. 




My cancer fitness journey --
blogs 1,2,3,6,8,10 & 14

#22 HOT OVER 40! SURVIVING CANCER - I RUN FOR ME, MY MOTHER, FOR LIFE 5/12/12

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IMDB www.imdb.me/joannabonaro

I AM WRITING THIS FOR MY 10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY AS A CANCER SURVIVOR-- MAY 25th, 2002.

 I survived cancer. But hated the way I looked. 

I gained my life. But lost my self-esteem. 

For 7 years. 

Then - * I got the woman in the mirror I liked to see back again. 

I am determined to make up for those 7 lost years.

In between, I learned that we all really need and want to feel beautiful.  That society puts way too much pressure on woman to be skeletal skinny and prepubescent and that there is a huge prejudice for any woman out there who is a size 8,10, 12 or 14. 

 I had a conundrum. 

I feel magnificent as a size 4, fat as a size 10 --- so what can my philosophy be? 

"Are you a hypocrite?", I asked myself.

No.

My viewpoint is:

I am not advocating skinny, nor am I condoning too much fat.  Neither is good - both are reflections of poor eating habits and perhaps poor exercise regimes.

I decided to propose & promote a positive outlook --- 

to seek health and happiness based upon your own values.  Not Vogues.

The thinking that "taking care of yourself" is important.

A tall building won't stay upright without a deep foundation and strong supports.  The same goes for your body- it needs proper food and exercise to excel.  Take care of the inside and the outside will take care of itself. Your spirit needs to wonder and feel light.  That's why we love mountain aeries.  Feeling close to the sky transports you.  You must have moments in life when you feel as if you can jubilantly soar through the Heavens.

 

The more  you take care of yourself, the better and lighter you feel. Your mind and emotions need to feel inspired.  Creating new ways of eating, moving and then yes adorning, create a sense of well-being.

LIVING IS ABOUT HAPPINESS.

 I want everyone to look and feel as pretty as they can, based upon there own comfort levels. Because I know, I know that no matter what any woman says, she wants to look and feel beautiful.

The reason why I am a lunatic in the gym?  

Because I can be.

Because I am still here. 

I could have been LONG gone. 

I am grabbing Life and not letting go. 

No one can stop me. No one can pull me down. 

I won't let myself and I won't let anyone else.  

AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU.


No matter where you are in your journey to look good and feel beautiful, remember that you are alive and able. 
Just start.  It will become a wondrous adventure full of surprises. You will surprise yourself the most. 
I guarantee it.

 Sure there are setbacks.  Life is about "dancing in the rain" afterall. Any rebirth symbolism involved water; a sprinkle or a plunge, drinking or sweating, it's all the same.

When I am in a class and basically moving at 100 mph an hour while others drop around me.  I am not showing off. 

I am exhilarating in the fact that I can move,
that I am alive.
 

I am not competing -
I am exhulting in movement and breath and life. 
I look in the mirror and I am grateful, incredulous and absolutely amazed.

Working out has become a celebration. 

So yes, I run  for my mom who has survived not one but TWO bouts of breast cancer, and I run for me. 

The scars on my body are my testiment, her testiment, every woman's testiment.  They say "I have survived." 

YES! I RUN FOR LIFE!

If  you are a cancer survivor I would love to hear from  you. 

   

If you would like to read some other blogs about cancer, my fitness and weight loss journey and getting your groove back with Brazil Buttlift 
see blogs #1,2,3,6,8,10 & 14

Fitness tip: Brazil Buttlift w/ Leandro Carvalho  www.leandrofitness.com

*thanks Leandro - I may not be a VS model, but who cares? I feel like a gorgeous one and at my age --- that is enough for me!

More info click onto



IMDB www.imdb.me/joannabonaro

#18 HOT OVER 40! HIGHLAND HIGH TEA & HIKING AMIDST THE HEATHER 3/1/12

SCOTTISH ROMANCE

ROAMING THE MOORS,
 ROBERT BURNS &
ROBUST INDIVIDUALITY 
(Part 2)

Heather Tea at The Balmoral

I had the great opportunity to travel to Scotland recently.  This is a country with a unique culture and people who are creative, authentic and unique. You can learn a heck of alot from a Scot! 
We stayed at The Balmoral, in Edinburgh, a wonderful hotel overlooking the river with a grand view of the Edinburgh Castle Battlements. 

Yes, this was my view. Spend a day walking uphill to the main 12thc Chapel and you have earned the right to eat a hearty lunch.  

We toured with one of the friendliest, nicest, down-to-earth woman I have ever had the honor to meet.  Her name is Helen Fraser, and she runs
Afternoon Tea Tours.

http://www.afternoonteatours.co.uk/

We discovered Helen and her wonders because we wanted to experience a Scottish High Tea.  The tea and scones in Scotland
rival the ones from London. 

High Tea at Cringletie House w/ Helen!

I highly recommend Highland Tea, and Heather Tea.  Satisfying, sweet and with a touch of lemon a truly satisfying low calorie late nite treat.  But for special occasions, a Highland Tea of warm scones, homemade jams, cucumber sandwiches, and just a few wee cookies during a rainy day, fulfills all your needs. Especially when you are with your favorite guy! 

We began our journey with a wish for tea, and ended with a wonderful, warm friend. She embodies what Scottish charm and sensibility are all about. No Hollywood slickness, nor smarmy commercialism here.   Just real concern that we, her charges, did all we set out to do and more - Helen, once she discovers what you like - makes time for unexpected and delightful adventures. We frequented many castles, toured turrets, discovered exuberant gardens, meandered through mazes in the sunshine and rain,

 and drove towards, a hurricane so that we could explore the heather filled Highlands.  A mere hurricane didn't bother Helen at all.  We drove right behind it. Sublime. (She also loves to explore and walk so we kept pace very well indeed. I even got out and ran along the car down a long castle bound roadway.  I was getting too antsy sitting.) 

Now since this blog is about fitness too, I will tell you that walking the Moors, amidst the heather is a great way to not only build your appetite, but also to burn those calories.  Surrounded by an astounding array of hills, mountains, ravines and every shade of green, one can understand why the Scots are known for their robust, hardy constitutions, and their hearty sense of humour.

Glen Coe trails and Heather!

I think they embody individualism.  This is the country that gave birth to genius, Alexander McQueen. In fact, on our way to a wonderful mountain folly, at Glen Coe, hiking uphill to view the raging waterfalls, we passed a man with a homemade walking stick, white unruly hair, and a trusty dog who muttered in the Highland way, "aye" as way of greeting without stopping.   (the man not the dog!)
A serendipitously authentic Scottish experience.  He could have come out of central casting.  Alas, asking him to stop for a photo op seemed completely out of the question.

It is a bit hard to find salads and steamed veggies in Scotland.  A request for egg white omelettes warrants blank stares.  These people like hearty food. Yet, they stay thin - must be all the hiking.  Helen, however, did her best to scout out places where I could imbibe lemon heather tea to my hearts content along with steaming vegetable soups.  The bread here is outstanding so, yes, I indulged.  One small whole grain roll eaten mid-day, so fresh and delicious, was worth it. Tasty, filling and healthy. 
You must eat at Angels with Bagpipes restaurant on the Royal Mile.  http://www.angelswithbagpipes.uk.com/   A new, modern hip restaurant that won't break the budget with authentic Scottish fare and the best salmon to be had in town. 
I know, for I ate fresh, grilled fish every single night, in various restaurants. (though, I had to ask for it to be grilled, no butter, with lemon)

Shopping is wonderful too. One can find very reasonable cashmere sweaters, scarves and gloves along The Royal Mile. 
Blue Collar Babes crave cashmere. Right gals?!
For very fashionable fare, I highly recommend  ArkAngel and Felon Boutique  http://www.arkangelandfelon.com/  
Owned by a Fashion Stylist for major fashion shows, shoots, and stars.  This woman knows how to pick out the trends, showcase the hottest new designers,  and present them in a lovely, intimate shop.  Situated in the "newer" hip sections of Edinburgh. New York has nothing on her!

I plan to spend Hogmanay (celebrating the New Year with bagpipes and scotch) there one day very soon.  The Scots love to dance, hence, the Scottish jig.... but there always seems to be a reason to dance and sing, and I for one think they actually out-do the Italians.  It is quite romantic. 

And of course, there is Robert Burns and his Ode to the Lasses. 
Best lines see highlighted below!

GREEN GROW THE RASHES        by Robert Burns

Green grow the rashes, O! Green grow the rashes, O! The sweetest hours that e'er I spend, Are spent amang the lasses, O! There's nought but care on every han' In every hour that passes, O; What signifies the life o' man, An 'twere na for the lasses, O? The warl'ly race may riches chase, An' riches still may fly them, O; An' though at last they catch them fast, Their hearts can ne'er enjoy them, O. But gi'e me a canny hour at e'en, My arms about my dearie, O, An' warl'ly cares an' warl'ly men May a' gae tapsalteerie, O! For you sae douce, ye sneer at this, Ye're nought but senseless asses, O; The wisest man the warl' e'er saw, He dearly loved the lasses, O. Auld Nature swears the lovely dears Her noblest work she classes, O; Her 'prentice han' she tried on man, An' then she made the lasses, O.

The Waterfalls at Glen Coe & Helen's surprise!

TRAVEL TIP  -----   go to Trip Advisor.com  --- you will see your fellow travelers rating people, places and sites.  Trustworthy, impartial, its all about personal experience and honest opMore info click onto



IMDB www.imdb.me/joannabonaroinions.

Oh and for the record, these are my personal endorsements - I don't get anything for them.  Part of the plan to pay it forward whenever you can.  The best part of giving is not expecting to receive. Just do it freely, but you Blue Collar Gal Hotties already know that don't you?  We are a great bunch!



#15 HOT OVER 40! BACI, BACI EVERYWHERE~ SEDUCTION 2/2/12

Seduction : 

Give him a mystery trail of chocolate Baci ---- he will think of you everytime he discovers one... Sock drawer, humidor, gym bag, drivers seat, computer pad... When he gets home, have set a path of Baci through the house for him to follow-- at the end of the trail....hide one on your person and let him find it, along with Champagne in a fluted glass with strawberries and chocolate --- awaiting you both. Dinner can wait.

#12 HOT OVER 40! SAY GOODBYE 12/30/11

Say goodbye...
Say goodbye to all your doubts and self-recriminations...
Say goodbye to your guilt, the late night food fests & self -prevarications...
Say goodbye to the 4th slice of pizza and the whoopie cookie binge...
Say goodbye to dressing room dread and summer clothing cringe...



Before the midnight bells ring 
 this is what I wish for you on January 1st 2012...
Joy ---   in your first breathe of the day as you open your eyes
Joy ---   as you feast on the sunshine and clouds and wonder of nature
Joy ---   as you plan all the activities that will make you smile.


Savor ---  your morning coffee
Savor ---  the first hug of the day from  your loved ones
Savor ---  every step forward, every smile, every kindness



   



    

    Keep ---  your wonder
    Keep ---  your hope
    Keep ---  your determination



 and think of all that you have and not what you want.


 You are your own creation
BREATHE DEEPLY   
Please, Do it all with Heart

HEALTHY TIP:   CRANBERRIES  Eating a heart healthy diet is one important step you can take to reduce your risk of heart disease & lower cholesterol. Cranberries contain no fat, no cholesterol, and very little sodium.   ( read entire article at www.uscranberries.com )

#9 HOT OVER 40! GLAM A LA LOMBARD

Do you suppose that being glamorous just applies to appearing exotic, smoky and slinky?  Wrong!  Garbo notwithstanding ---

I would like to take a page from another siren's book --

the Screwball Goddess herself. Carole Lombard. 

Take a peak at her picture to your left and tell me she didn't rival Garbo in glamour.  

During Hollywood's Heyday, who did she catch?

None other than Mr. Sigh himself - Clark Gable. 

Clark and Carole were known as the Golden Couple during the Golden Age of Hollywood.

Photo from www.fanpix.net/carolelombard

A LESSON IN GOOFBALL GLAMOUR - VIA CAROLE

Many of you may be surprised to learn that Carole was in a car accident where her face was seriously scarred.  As a result of her "loss of looks" she was dropped by Fox Studios and her career appeared to be over.  Yet this seemingly cataclysmic marring of her face --- actually proved to be the making of the screwball girl. 

It was "the beginning," said a friend, "of her philosophy, her inner life.  For she began to laugh at herself-and she went on laughing at herself for as long as she lived." 

Lombard's humor came down to a profound irreverence --- and the need to tweak convention wherever she saw it.  She couldn't resist poking fun at those who took themselves too seriously.  When a movie of Gable's bombed everywhere but China, she dropped aerial leaflets printed with, "Fifty Million Chinamen Can't Be Wrong!" 

She teased Gable about his frugality, his large ears, and "the greater popularity of Shirley Temple."  (If you do not know who Shirley is... continue eating your Animal Crackers and stop reading this blog.) 

Lombard's screwball view helped him laugh at the world.                                                         Photo from www.feminine-flower.tumblr.com

She also had scores of what she termed, "sexy friendships"  with lots of the male leading stars of the day.  But she always remained true and faithful to Clark. 

Life magazine noted,  "her entry on a set often occasions so many greetings from prop men, mechanics, assistant directors, and electricians, that the uproar sounds like a reunion between Tarzan and his monkeys."  (young starlets take note)

During the shooting of From Heaven to Hell, Lombard shivered in a summer dress in the middle of January.  "All right you warm, bloody bastards," she joked,  "every one of you down to your jockey shorts!"  THEY STRIPPED.

Now, if you are not the life of the party or knock down funny (like me) you can still develop a sense of humor through your way of looking at the world.* 

GLAM A LA LOMBARD:

Carole Lombard On Her Beauty:
 “You ought to see the map for my face in the Makeup Department. It looks like a landscape of the moon.”
Carole Lombard On Being A Glamour Girl:
 “Personally, I resent being tagged ‘glamour girl.’ It’s such an absurd, extravagant label. It implies so much that I’m not.”

Carole Lombard On Being A Style Queen:

“I can’t imagine a duller fate than being the best dressed woman in reality. When I want to do something I don’t pause to contemplate whether I’m exquisitely gowned. I want to live, not pose!”

Carole Lombard On Humor:

“ The Cardinal Virtue ... Is a sense of humor,” says Carole. “Do you laugh in the right places? Then, you’ll get along, in fair weather or foul. Humor is nothing less than a sense of the fitness of things. Something that’s out of proportion, like an inflated ego, should strike you funny, particularly if it’s your own inflated ego. Otherwise you are pathetic and quite hopeless.”

Photo from www.seattletimes.nwsource.com

GOOFY GLAMOUR TIP
Look for the "funny in the fiasco" and you will have learned a lesson in Lombard's book. A sense of self-deprecation and an awareness of the absurdity in everyday living will work wonders.

So, laugh easily, laugh often and you'll be happier --- those laugh lines will start looking very good and be a reflection of both your outer and inner happiness. I would bet a chip or two that the admiring male next to you will think so too.

He will only have eyes for you.

Photo from www.goldenagedames.wordpress.com

*Royal Blue ink signifies complete excerpts from, Simply Irresistible by Ellen T. White

PS  I think the "Follow" favicon button is working now.  If you have a google account just click.  Or easily create a google account.   Otherwise you can follow me via email,  No spam or sales.
Even though this is a continuing problem - for I have heard from many of you  --- I want to thank all my readers, over 600 in just 3 months from the U.S., United Kingdom, Canada, Italy, Finland, Saudi Arabia, Chile, Germany, Jordan, India, Denmark, Malaysia, Egypt, Peru, Denmark, Hungary and the Netherlands for your continued support.  I hope I am inspiring/ helping you and giving you some calorie free "food for thought," along with a positive healthy inner sense of beauty and well-being.
 Have a great-glam day!  

#8 HOT OVER 40! CARROTS, CRUNCHES & MUNCHIES

FLAT STOMACH.   Two words that can send frissons of fear into the female heart. 
Our minds and souls become paralysed.  Thoughts, usually filled with guilt about last night's dessert, swell your brain.  Those two words can cause an explosion of voices and such fevered emotion  that onlookers, or foreign travelers, would swear a duel might imminently ensue.  It can't - we are too busy asphyxiating ourselves holding in our stomachs.
Well, don't fear. Help is on the way.  
You know how I have mentioned that orange and green are my fashion color enemies? 

Well , in food choices they are just golden. 

I have discovered my munchie food friends and none of them are fried.

I have to admit that I suffer from mandible motion mania or munchie madness. 
In other words. I have a constant need to chew and swallow food while I am reading (which is quite often, book-worm that I am), watching TV (usually only Sunday nights at 9), studying, (the times vary widely), writing (such as this very moment). 
These are activities, keep in mind, where one is stationery, either lying down or sitting, 

 I found this very bad habit impossible to control until I decided that I wasn't going to tame it, just change it - and re-thought what type of snacking  I would use.  In the past, crackers and cereal were my chew of choice.  I used to pat myself on the back for not opting for the "bad" choice of cookies or ice cream. What greater fool was I! 

My healthy drugs, er I mean foods, of choice, (though now I do crave them - oh joy!)  ensure that I get the crunch and chew satisfaction that I must have,  along with a feeling of satiety (Merriam Webster definition 1 not 2 ) without the guilt of calories and a swollen stomach.

(NOTE - ALL ARE RAW - NOT COOKED - REMEMBER THESE ARE GRAB AND CHEW WHILE ENGAGING IN SEDENTARY ACTIVITIES - AN OXYMORON I KNOW)

5  CRUNCHIE MUNCHIES

CARROTS- fiber, Vitamins A & C                                     One cup= approx 50 cal.
JICAMA -potassium and Vitamin C                                   One cup = approx 45 cal.
RED,ORANGE & YELLOW PEPPERS -                           One cup =approx  30 cal. 
   lots of Vitamin C in all 3 though red is best  
ROMAINE LETTUCE                                                       Doesn't matter - so few cal.
JALAPENO PEPPERS - capsaicin - great for arthritis       Can you even eat one cup?
                                       go slow on this one.

Yes there are lots of other often recommended veggies such as celery, which I found boring,  broccoli - which I love cooked or raw, but if munching in public can create "green teeth smile" so be warned.  I choose the above because these items can be purchased pre-washed and pre-sliced so that it is all easy-peazy lazy lady-like. 

EXERCISE TIP:  Stomach exercises work as long as you concentrate on the specific area and lift and lower while always keeping the muscle tensed.  If you do them quickly, just lifting your head and not your shoulders,  and/or  fully release your muscle upon lowering you are accomplishing very little and will not see the results as quickly. 
Also, in order to see results, and maintain them, you should be doing crunches, upper and lower along with oblique crunches ideally 4-6x a week.  You want even quicker results?  Use a stability ball -  or an incline bench - or hold a 5 lb. dumbbell on your upper chest - work it!

EXTRA FLAT TUMMY TIP:   don't drink your calories gals,  I mean soda, or frozen margaritas .  A complete waste on your waist.  That's where those calories go - right to your middle.  Choose water with lemon instead.  Sparkly if you need the fizz. (like me)  My on-the-go favorite is  Vitamin Water ZERO - Mixed Berry.

 I know I sound like a broken record but go to http://www.leandrofitness.com/ for Brazil Tummy Tuck exercises.  He is the fitness trainer not I.  I am only a convert,  who tried it and found it to be true - oh and my waist is the same as when I was 20.  So it works if you work it.

JUST TO GET THINGS SORTED:  I would like to re-confirm that I am simply a woman who is making recommendations based upon my own experiences.  I am sharing what worked for me after much experimentation.  This blog is aimed to empower women on how to feel beautiful and take control of their bodies, and increase self-image and self-satisfaction levels in order to experience REAL not "reel" beauty.  I am  hoping that you are relating to a woman who is just like you  - a woman from the neighborhood who doesn't have tons of money for trainers, food deliveries, cosmetic surgery or any of those other not mentioned "beauty secret helpers"  that create tabloid goddesses. 
 If you have any serious health conditions or allergies kindly review any of these suggestions first with your doctor. 

#7 HOT OVER 40! FROM RED CARPET TO HILARITY PART 2 - or The Ecstasy then the Agony (#7)

We arrive in Dallas.  I know I am in the Lone Star State because as we are driving to the hotel we see two billboards. One states,  "GOD IS OUR SALVATION".  About 3 seconds later "GUN SHOW - CASH ACCEPTED". 

We arrive at our hotel, and find we have been upgraded to a suite. Sweet!  Debate whether to partake of some Texas chili but decide a good nights sleep is better.  Plus, I am not really eating anything that is not steamed or green until after the big event.  Instead, I  fill up on chamomile tea with lemon. 

I know - a poor second - but I told you I would be honest. 

(Do you remember the pic of Hillary Swank after she won the Oscar?  You don't think she did this too?  She was snarfing down a Big Mac n Cheese with gusto.  I love her for her refreshing honesty and fierce talent.)

Next day.  Wake up to warm sunshine and birds singing.  It was snowing back in New York about then, so I savor the  toasty rays saying to myself,  " another good sign." 
Like Catherine De Medici I am superstitious that way. 
Only she had visions and unfortunately I don't.
It might have proven useful later in the day. 
I layout the dress (which had its own suitcase - yup the entire suitcase had just one dress in it along with about 500 reams of tissue paper and crinkled dry cleaning plastic.) 
Put out the makeup.  Now, the makeup artist was bringing everything however, I am also the type who ALWAYS COMES PREPARED.  So I brought all of my "on camera hi-def" makeup --- in case we had a difference of opinion. 
As it turns out the makeup artist was an absolute angel along with being a great instructor on how one puts on false eyelashes.  A skill I have yet to attain.  She applies excessive eye makeup - up close this doesn't look natural, but does wonders when under bright lights. 
One must learn these things.
I had some slight misgivings on the hair-do when she teased it so that I looked like a raven colony had decided to nest, but she assuaged my doubts by stating, "by the time you get there it will have settled down."  My fleeting thought was, "hope the chicks are fed by then."

After she left it was time to put on the dress. 
A slight nervous breakdown occurred when the dress that fit perfectly in New York, suddenly would not zip up the back.  Hubby proved useless in this matter.  I think hubbies are usually useless in this matter of stuck zippers, but the only female I knew had just left so I was having a minor sweat attack along with worrying about the hair.  However, after15 minutes and endless attempts, the recalcitrant zipper decided to "play nice." Whew. 
Reapply deodorant.... carefully.   Then, shoes (which have been sanded on bottom so no slipping occurs) gold jewelry (not from Cartier but from Italy),  bag (remember to bring ID and cash plus I-phone -- on vibrate please , no room for a brush but the cement hairspray hopefully will hold out.)
Look in the mirror and   .......   THE TRANSFORMATION HAS BEEN ACHIEVED!
Like Maria in "West Side Story"  I feel pretty.  Hallelujah! 
I am ready with time to spare. 
Oh and in between hubby got dressed too.  But who really cared about that? Just kidding.  He looked very handsome. My leading man.

The phone vibrates.  It's the director.  "Don't worry, but the car that is coming to pick you up is running about 20 minutes late.  We can't arrive together. But the event is 5 minutes away so you should be OK.  We won't walk without you." 
20 minutes goes by.  No one arrives.  I call and get voicemail.  GREAT.
Finally another call.  "He is stuck in traffic.  He will be another 10 minutes." 
We were supposed to have been there by now.  After all this preparation I am going to miss the entire thing.
Another 15 minutes.  The anti-perspirant has stopped working. Voicemail. Again.
What to do? What to do?  Should I just hike up my dress and run over? 
(I told you how self-sufficient I can be. Plus I'm fit, remember?)
Finally, a call, "he should be there."  I am exhausted and the event is yet to happen.
I am thinking,  "can't something go smoothly, just once?"  Hubby about to give me a mini-massage and I scream, "watch the hair, watch the hair!"  Ah love.

We arrive. 
It looks exactly as one expects it too.  Lots of spectators milling about.  Lots and lots of press and photographers. Everyone is smiling. You can tell just by looking for the most part, who are the actors versus the directors, writers and producers.  The actors are always dressed and coiffed to the hilt.  It's just the way it is.  Plus their teeth are always so startlingly white. 
(Note to self: You forgot to doooooo thaaaaat! - 95% wattage will have to suffice)  
My director (whom I adore)  and executive producers look splendid and beautiful and radiant. 
And we are all smiling. 
We are assigned a handler.  This individual will escort us through the aisle leading up to the stage at our appointed time.  As we progress forward, people are waving hello and kissing the air and saying things like, "Let's meet for drinks later."  It's hard to hear anything.  I think I am being told to talk about the "female" slant of this film but can't really hear.  And now it's our turn.  The executive producer makes sure the film's poster is placed just so. 
It's time to step on the carpet which is a rich deep red.  
I give myself a moment to take it all in and "own it."  
I am not nervous at all.  In fact, I plan to have a ball. 
The camera's flash, light's pop everywhere, and as we progress down the stage we are stopped by reporters.  My lovely director introduces me as coming "all the way from New York City" which is touching, and the reporter looks at me and declares after having asked me about my role in the film, "How can you be from New York? You are so nice!"  I laughed at that and said, "It's hard not to be when one is in Texas. I think I will move here!"  I think she liked that. 
And so it went.  We were interviewed by the press for both print and TV and web and posed and smiled and laughed for about 45 minutes.  Ann -Margaret even interrupted me.  (It's okay to be cut off  by a legend.) 
Then it was over. Just like that. 
It was a piece of cake and I had a grand old time.  
I couldn't believe that I was even asked "who I wore." Hilarious.

Film premieres. Kiss, kiss, hug, hug.  Let's change and meet for drinks -----   Remember that dear reader!  You think I've already described the agony? HA!
We all part.  Hubby and I return to hotel suite.   Have about an hour and a half to kill before going out again.  Shower, change, very casual, low-key no pressure now.  Lost an eyelash in bathroom anyway. Impossible to locate. Hair back to raven color instead of avian gathering.  
Relaxing when hubby comes from living room to bedroom where I am resting, holding his stomach.  He lies down on bed and says.  "I don't feel so well." 
Not the least bit concerned I say - "What do you mean?" 
"My stomach  hurts."  (His stomach always hurts.)
"It's probably just gas, roll around on the bed a bit," I state unsympathetically. 
I am thinking, "what now, we have to go out soon!"
He moves around for about 5 minutes. Then doubles over and breaks out in a cold sweat.
"I am really in pain all of a sudden."  Jeez.
"Did you eat something since we came back?"  I am still not buying into this.
"No and I am really in pain.  Do you think I should go to the emergency room?"
This gets my attention. 
My husband would NEVER, EVER ASK ME if he should go to any emergency room. 
"You  would never, ever ask me if I think you should go to the emergency room!" I cry.
"Are you having an appendix attack?" 
We prod and poke.  His pain is kind of on the side of his waist.  No organ we can remember being there. 
"Are you sure you didn't eat something?"  "Are you having a heart attack?"
Even though the pain is located on his  right side and below the rib cage, I am starting now to worry. Big time.
He can't stand up but says,   "Maybe it will subside. After all we are going home tomorrow."
"If you are even thinking of an emergency room it means you should go. You can't have this happening on the plane. And what are you talking about anyway? You are white as newly bleached teeth and sweat is pouring off of you!" 
I pick up the phone to the receptionist. 
"My husband has become desperately ill.  Where is the nearest hospital?"
Being Texan, they were all so wonderful and helpful. Immediately.  No questions or attitudes.
Maybe we should move here.

We wind up at Baylor Hospital emergency room. 
Needless to say, an emergency room in downtown Dallas at midnight is as far away from a red carpet crowd as can be.  Plus their computer system went down resulting in  a 3 hour delay because processing all the incoming patients has to be done manually.  No one is used to doing that anymore. 
We sit in plastic chairs surrounded by moaning, suffering, bleeding, a screeching cat fight over a pimp, ( I kid you not) , a man who had beige bugs crawling over him, (is this a vision?!?) and mayhem until he is finally admitted at 4:15 AM. 
The admitting nurse asks us if we are willing to pay a $100 charge and is surprised when we say "yes." 
It appears that no one ever does.
Blood work, x-rays, and c-scans later, the doctor comes in to tell us - "Kidney Stones."
??!!!**##??!!!!!
Incredible. 
My husband looks at me, and with a twinkle in his eye restored, now that he is on mega-pain killers, and quips, "Well it's a good thing this didn't happen earlier.  You would have left me at the emergency room door. And I would have wanted you to. "  I say, "You are absolutely right, but I would have come back as soon as  it was all over."  Ah,  devotion.

We got back to the hotel at 6:30 AM.  And crashed.  Then hopped on a plane home by 4pm.

I think all the partying was over by then.  I didn't bother to check.  I didn't care.  I had my moment and more importantly, my husband by my side. 

So while everyone thinks I was living it up and leading such a glamorous life....

I say, "it's the grits that count."   Without love, it ain't much.  Ah Amore.  A-men.

BEAUTY TIP  --    studies show that wearing red increases athletic performance and may lead to more confidence. It may even make you push harder while working out!

Next.....  Carrots, Crunches, and Munchies

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