#17 HOT OVER 40! MARILYN MONROE SIZZLE & SMARTS! 2/25/12

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IMDB www.imdb.me/joannabonaro

Real vs Reel Beauty 
Yes! Marilyn knew the difference.

Sizzle + Smarts = 
Sensational  

 

My favorite Marilyn photo - with a BOOK!

Since this is a blog about beauty, image and the pressures society puts on women to look gorgeous no matter the circumstances, I harken back to Marilyn. Why? Well she did re-invent herself.  She was her own creation.  And creating one's own rennaissance whether it be through fitness or schooling, or relationships, or just a new pair of jeans is what this blog is about.  Creating a life and look that makes you happy,  gives one confidence, and authenticity - that is what I would hope for you. Because you are doing it for yourself, not to be selfish and narcissistic, but to be happy and healthy and fulfilled.
You deserve it.  
Marilyn was often misunderstood, however she was a brilliant actress and business woman.  A woman before her time who fought for her beliefs, and the rights of others.
I think if she could have continued to withstand the pressures of fame, stardom and her own personal demons, she would have been a true aging beauty.  
A role model on how to age with grace and style. 
With a face that moved and continued to move us too!

A true iconoclast. A forerunner. Trailblazer.

"For decades, irresponsible biographers like Norman Mailer have represented Marilyn Monroe as nothing more than weak, psychotic, junkie, nymphomaniac, idiot. I have tried to read her life in a different way. True, Marilyn was sometimes mired in the ideology of the past: she married men to gain an identity she wished for herself; she was over-reliant on her sexuality for success in her career. But, at the same time, she displayed real agency by divorcing three unsupportive husbands who interfered with her career and her self-esteem, by fighting for her modeling and film success, by continuing to perfect her art by taking acting classes long after she was a big star, by battling Darryl Zanuck to have more control over her own destiny, by starting her own production company, by buying her own home, even by jogging through service alleys, lifting weights, and wearing jeans. All of these things were accomplished six years before the first feminist protest at the Miss American Pageant in Atlantic City, New Jersey, and eight years before the First Congress to unite Women in New York."   (Excerpted from http://www.americanpopularculture.com/)

INSIGHT FOR THE DAY:

MARILYN JOGGED AND USED WEIGHTS BEFORE THE BOOM OF THE FITNESS CRAZE, GYMS, TRAINERS AND EXERCISE GURUS ---- SO FOLLOW HER EXAMPLE ---

YOU CAN TRANSFORM YOURSELF THROUGH DILIGENCE AND DEDICATION.  And no it ain't easy, however, eventually it will actually become fun.  Trust me. I know.
UPCOMING BLOGS ON VARIOUS EXERCISE STRATEGIES DURING SLUMPS, MALAISE & INJURIES.   

THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST, COMMENTS, READERSHIP, CURIOSITY, CARING, SHARING.

CHOOSE HAPPINESS - EVEN DURING DURESS.
IT WON'T CHANGE THINGS ALOT, BUT PERHAPS, IT WILL CHANGE HOW YOU DEAL WITH IT.

if you are new to this blog and want some background on my philosophies and life after cancer IN A BIKINI   see blogs #1,2,3,6,8,10 &14

#14 HOT OVER 40! MAKE THE MOST OF YOURSELF 1/9/12

MAKE THE MOST OF YOURSELF FOR THAT IS ALL THERE IS OF YOU
                                                                            Ralph Waldo Emerson

           Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air…

When I was recuperating from surgery hoping that my cancer had been cut out and decimated forever I had plenty of time to rest, think and read.

I discovered Ralph Waldo Emerson, and I have chosen to live my life by many of his credoes.  At the start of the new year  I want to share with you some of his sublime wisdom and tenets to live by.  I hope you are as inspired by them too: 

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”      

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends. To appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, (a well loved pet), a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”     

  “Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” 

 

 

“Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.”

“Always do what you are afraid to do.”

 “Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”     

                                     Ralph Waldo Emerson  

Thankfully I was cured by wonderful doctors, recuperated with a loving husband and family by my side and visited by loyal friends.  This is to have succeeded.  Namaste.

Let the joyful journey begin.......



Future posts --- on seduction, glam - wear clothes, skin care,
great food choices, key area exercises, make-up tips,  mindfulness,

Tell me what you want to hear & see, concerns and questions. And thanks for reading.  Strive to flourish!

    

#7 HOT OVER 40! FROM RED CARPET TO HILARITY PART 2 - or The Ecstasy then the Agony (#7)

We arrive in Dallas.  I know I am in the Lone Star State because as we are driving to the hotel we see two billboards. One states,  "GOD IS OUR SALVATION".  About 3 seconds later "GUN SHOW - CASH ACCEPTED". 

We arrive at our hotel, and find we have been upgraded to a suite. Sweet!  Debate whether to partake of some Texas chili but decide a good nights sleep is better.  Plus, I am not really eating anything that is not steamed or green until after the big event.  Instead, I  fill up on chamomile tea with lemon. 

I know - a poor second - but I told you I would be honest. 

(Do you remember the pic of Hillary Swank after she won the Oscar?  You don't think she did this too?  She was snarfing down a Big Mac n Cheese with gusto.  I love her for her refreshing honesty and fierce talent.)

Next day.  Wake up to warm sunshine and birds singing.  It was snowing back in New York about then, so I savor the  toasty rays saying to myself,  " another good sign." 
Like Catherine De Medici I am superstitious that way. 
Only she had visions and unfortunately I don't.
It might have proven useful later in the day. 
I layout the dress (which had its own suitcase - yup the entire suitcase had just one dress in it along with about 500 reams of tissue paper and crinkled dry cleaning plastic.) 
Put out the makeup.  Now, the makeup artist was bringing everything however, I am also the type who ALWAYS COMES PREPARED.  So I brought all of my "on camera hi-def" makeup --- in case we had a difference of opinion. 
As it turns out the makeup artist was an absolute angel along with being a great instructor on how one puts on false eyelashes.  A skill I have yet to attain.  She applies excessive eye makeup - up close this doesn't look natural, but does wonders when under bright lights. 
One must learn these things.
I had some slight misgivings on the hair-do when she teased it so that I looked like a raven colony had decided to nest, but she assuaged my doubts by stating, "by the time you get there it will have settled down."  My fleeting thought was, "hope the chicks are fed by then."

After she left it was time to put on the dress. 
A slight nervous breakdown occurred when the dress that fit perfectly in New York, suddenly would not zip up the back.  Hubby proved useless in this matter.  I think hubbies are usually useless in this matter of stuck zippers, but the only female I knew had just left so I was having a minor sweat attack along with worrying about the hair.  However, after15 minutes and endless attempts, the recalcitrant zipper decided to "play nice." Whew. 
Reapply deodorant.... carefully.   Then, shoes (which have been sanded on bottom so no slipping occurs) gold jewelry (not from Cartier but from Italy),  bag (remember to bring ID and cash plus I-phone -- on vibrate please , no room for a brush but the cement hairspray hopefully will hold out.)
Look in the mirror and   .......   THE TRANSFORMATION HAS BEEN ACHIEVED!
Like Maria in "West Side Story"  I feel pretty.  Hallelujah! 
I am ready with time to spare. 
Oh and in between hubby got dressed too.  But who really cared about that? Just kidding.  He looked very handsome. My leading man.

The phone vibrates.  It's the director.  "Don't worry, but the car that is coming to pick you up is running about 20 minutes late.  We can't arrive together. But the event is 5 minutes away so you should be OK.  We won't walk without you." 
20 minutes goes by.  No one arrives.  I call and get voicemail.  GREAT.
Finally another call.  "He is stuck in traffic.  He will be another 10 minutes." 
We were supposed to have been there by now.  After all this preparation I am going to miss the entire thing.
Another 15 minutes.  The anti-perspirant has stopped working. Voicemail. Again.
What to do? What to do?  Should I just hike up my dress and run over? 
(I told you how self-sufficient I can be. Plus I'm fit, remember?)
Finally, a call, "he should be there."  I am exhausted and the event is yet to happen.
I am thinking,  "can't something go smoothly, just once?"  Hubby about to give me a mini-massage and I scream, "watch the hair, watch the hair!"  Ah love.

We arrive. 
It looks exactly as one expects it too.  Lots of spectators milling about.  Lots and lots of press and photographers. Everyone is smiling. You can tell just by looking for the most part, who are the actors versus the directors, writers and producers.  The actors are always dressed and coiffed to the hilt.  It's just the way it is.  Plus their teeth are always so startlingly white. 
(Note to self: You forgot to doooooo thaaaaat! - 95% wattage will have to suffice)  
My director (whom I adore)  and executive producers look splendid and beautiful and radiant. 
And we are all smiling. 
We are assigned a handler.  This individual will escort us through the aisle leading up to the stage at our appointed time.  As we progress forward, people are waving hello and kissing the air and saying things like, "Let's meet for drinks later."  It's hard to hear anything.  I think I am being told to talk about the "female" slant of this film but can't really hear.  And now it's our turn.  The executive producer makes sure the film's poster is placed just so. 
It's time to step on the carpet which is a rich deep red.  
I give myself a moment to take it all in and "own it."  
I am not nervous at all.  In fact, I plan to have a ball. 
The camera's flash, light's pop everywhere, and as we progress down the stage we are stopped by reporters.  My lovely director introduces me as coming "all the way from New York City" which is touching, and the reporter looks at me and declares after having asked me about my role in the film, "How can you be from New York? You are so nice!"  I laughed at that and said, "It's hard not to be when one is in Texas. I think I will move here!"  I think she liked that. 
And so it went.  We were interviewed by the press for both print and TV and web and posed and smiled and laughed for about 45 minutes.  Ann -Margaret even interrupted me.  (It's okay to be cut off  by a legend.) 
Then it was over. Just like that. 
It was a piece of cake and I had a grand old time.  
I couldn't believe that I was even asked "who I wore." Hilarious.

Film premieres. Kiss, kiss, hug, hug.  Let's change and meet for drinks -----   Remember that dear reader!  You think I've already described the agony? HA!
We all part.  Hubby and I return to hotel suite.   Have about an hour and a half to kill before going out again.  Shower, change, very casual, low-key no pressure now.  Lost an eyelash in bathroom anyway. Impossible to locate. Hair back to raven color instead of avian gathering.  
Relaxing when hubby comes from living room to bedroom where I am resting, holding his stomach.  He lies down on bed and says.  "I don't feel so well." 
Not the least bit concerned I say - "What do you mean?" 
"My stomach  hurts."  (His stomach always hurts.)
"It's probably just gas, roll around on the bed a bit," I state unsympathetically. 
I am thinking, "what now, we have to go out soon!"
He moves around for about 5 minutes. Then doubles over and breaks out in a cold sweat.
"I am really in pain all of a sudden."  Jeez.
"Did you eat something since we came back?"  I am still not buying into this.
"No and I am really in pain.  Do you think I should go to the emergency room?"
This gets my attention. 
My husband would NEVER, EVER ASK ME if he should go to any emergency room. 
"You  would never, ever ask me if I think you should go to the emergency room!" I cry.
"Are you having an appendix attack?" 
We prod and poke.  His pain is kind of on the side of his waist.  No organ we can remember being there. 
"Are you sure you didn't eat something?"  "Are you having a heart attack?"
Even though the pain is located on his  right side and below the rib cage, I am starting now to worry. Big time.
He can't stand up but says,   "Maybe it will subside. After all we are going home tomorrow."
"If you are even thinking of an emergency room it means you should go. You can't have this happening on the plane. And what are you talking about anyway? You are white as newly bleached teeth and sweat is pouring off of you!" 
I pick up the phone to the receptionist. 
"My husband has become desperately ill.  Where is the nearest hospital?"
Being Texan, they were all so wonderful and helpful. Immediately.  No questions or attitudes.
Maybe we should move here.

We wind up at Baylor Hospital emergency room. 
Needless to say, an emergency room in downtown Dallas at midnight is as far away from a red carpet crowd as can be.  Plus their computer system went down resulting in  a 3 hour delay because processing all the incoming patients has to be done manually.  No one is used to doing that anymore. 
We sit in plastic chairs surrounded by moaning, suffering, bleeding, a screeching cat fight over a pimp, ( I kid you not) , a man who had beige bugs crawling over him, (is this a vision?!?) and mayhem until he is finally admitted at 4:15 AM. 
The admitting nurse asks us if we are willing to pay a $100 charge and is surprised when we say "yes." 
It appears that no one ever does.
Blood work, x-rays, and c-scans later, the doctor comes in to tell us - "Kidney Stones."
??!!!**##??!!!!!
Incredible. 
My husband looks at me, and with a twinkle in his eye restored, now that he is on mega-pain killers, and quips, "Well it's a good thing this didn't happen earlier.  You would have left me at the emergency room door. And I would have wanted you to. "  I say, "You are absolutely right, but I would have come back as soon as  it was all over."  Ah,  devotion.

We got back to the hotel at 6:30 AM.  And crashed.  Then hopped on a plane home by 4pm.

I think all the partying was over by then.  I didn't bother to check.  I didn't care.  I had my moment and more importantly, my husband by my side. 

So while everyone thinks I was living it up and leading such a glamorous life....

I say, "it's the grits that count."   Without love, it ain't much.  Ah Amore.  A-men.

BEAUTY TIP  --    studies show that wearing red increases athletic performance and may lead to more confidence. It may even make you push harder while working out!

Next.....  Carrots, Crunches, and Munchies

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#4 HOT OVER 40! ON ITALIAN FRIENDSHIPS

My father always said to me, "you are lucky if you have 5 true friends during the course of a lifetime."
As a teenager, this seemed like rather a small number.  However, after a lifetime of people coming and going during the different phases of my life, that number now seems very large.  Of course it all depends on how one defines the term "friendship."
For an Italian, I believe it means, you have become family.  And family, for an Italian, is everything. 
This will not happen overnight. 
Nor will there ever be an official induction.
Nor do I mean for you to envision the pop culture iconography of everyone happily sitting down to dinner, spreading good cheer and loving kindness. 
There are many Italian families, like mine, who are reminiscent of the Borgias.  If you know your history, not the most likable clan. 
But they did protect their own.
However, the bottom line is that through thick and thin, if you are lucky enough to be included in that very exclusive circle it can mean quite alot.
It means, not keeping count, or lists of what you did and what I did in return.  It means, no questions asked if you need money to pay your rent.  And then take 5 years to pay it back.  Or usually, after awhile it means, "no worries, I don't remember you borrowing any money at all."  Our long memories can become quite sketchy when you are in that beloved though bickering inner circle.  It means, when you phone at 3 AM because you need help, you get a "I will be right over" response instead of all the reasons why you would but regretfully can't help. It means inconveniencing oneself to help out another.  It means if my cousin has an MBA and you need help with a business plan, well, a phone call will generate alot of advice, phone conversations and edits --- all for free. Or a doctor's appointment or a  "reference" from someone with some influence even though you never worked for them, or a blood donation, or even getting an uncle to put in a new sink in the basement - at a basement price.
It also means, that all the things you ever did count -- alot. And eventually you will get alot more in return than you ever dreamed.  Even something like, a place to call home if there is no where else to go in your old age. We invented the phrase, "just in case...". 
The downside is that you are now included in the favors for this or that, and never ending worries about everything and anything.  You are now involved in the emotional upheavals, the phone calls and conversations and basically anything that you would ask your father, sister, brother, mother to do without a second thought.  Over and over and over again. Then over again...again. 
That is why alot of Italians say, "managia" under their breathes and throw up their hands. Usually this means being a major pain in the butt, along with fighting and impatience and thoughts of, "I really want to throw you out the window right now."
Of course you don't. You verbally duke it out, sometimes rather loudly, but then after you've let off steam, and everyone's said what they really thought, no brain editing involved, everyone has a cup of coffee.  Preferably at the kitchen table.
Not the dining room, living room, or family room. 
Case closed. 
And in my life experience,this type of mindset 99.9% of the time occurs when you are from a blue collar boroughs background.  Not scientific, I know, just experiential. 
Oh another thing - this inclusion does not happen alot.  It takes time.
That's why the number is only a handful. 
So if you are the type who keeps count, or fumes silently, or has time limit expectations, I would take these insights or warnings to heart.  Ultimately the relationship just won't last.
Being part of la famiglia has it's pitfalls but I prefer it than any other kind of friendship in the world.
And dad's number doesn't seem so small after all.  Just true.  Like an Italian friendship, indeed.

Italian Meal Tip -  one of my favorite books for low calorie Italian recipes is

  99% Fat Free Italian Cooking - by Barry Bluestein & Kevin Morrissey, Published by Doubleday
    all of your favorite dishes with less than 1 gram of fat.  One of my favorites is Monkfish Osso Buco.
    PS make Garlic your friend. Learn low fat ingredient alternatives  ---   Become a Bella Buongustiao