#21 SISTERS, SISTERS --- TWINS NO LESS 4/20/12

SISTERS, SISTERS
 THERE WERE NEVER SUCH DEVOTED SISTERS!

My Twin

AREN'T I LUCKY? I HAVE A TWIN WHOM I ADORE AND WHO ADORES ME.  WE HAVE BEEN EVERY SIZE UNDER THE SUN AND NEVER AT THE SAME TIME....

TILL NOW. 

FINALLY THE JOY OF SHARING CLOTHES. 

I JUST FORCED HER TO BUY A CASHMERE MAX MARA BLACK COAT.   (well when I wrote this awhile back, not now.) She didn't know about this very chic, very Italian designer brand. 

I zoomed into the coat with my selective laser fashion eyes and told her,

"Put it on - it's you."  She was undecided.

  ~now note the sisterly psychology~

I put it it on instead and said, "If you don't buy this I will, I look gorgeous in it - so it's either me or you."  There was only 1 left in the size that we now both can wear.

"caring, sharing, every little think that we are wearing..."

She said, "ok sold."  Who needs a saleswoman when she has me?

VERY AUDREY. VERY CHIC. VERY EXPENSIVE.

IF NOT NOW WHEN? 

 YOU WORK HARD AT LIFE SO WHY NOT BUY A COAT THAT YOU FEEL LUXURIOUS, RICH AND GLAMOROUS IN?

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? 

I urge you to buy cashmere.  It keeps you warm, feels soft, is high quality and a classic style will last you for years.  

BLUE COLLAR GALS DO HAVE CASHMERE TASTES YOU KNOW.

WE MAY JUST HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE SALES. ONCE PURCHASED HOWEVER, WHO WILL EVER KNOW THE PRICE? 

  

We grew up loving "White Christmas", Rosemary Clooney (Ginny was Rosemary -  even though I could sing and Ginny could dance, and they are both blonde and we are not. Details, details. Pah!) and the song they sang --"Sisters, Sisters" -- with those wonderful feather boas! Hmm...

"When a certain gentleman arrived from Rome

She wore the dress, and I stayed home"

The good thing was that we NEVER , really never, liked the same guys.

  So that was not a problem  -- the problem, most noted in college, was if we actually liked the guy the other one was dating at all! It was usually, "Ugh, where'd you find that one! Get rid of him!" This was before they even met Dad!

There is no one as critical about the viability of prospective boyfriend than a twin.

"All kinds of weather, we stick together

The same in the rain and sun

Two different faces*, but in tight places

We think and we act as one" 

(*aside - how did Irving know we were fraternal? he wrote the song for us didn't he?
that's what mom said)

So true.  And now we can raid one another's closets. 

I've turned her onto Anthropologie. 

Danger ahead. 

Instead of two for one, it's now one for two!

FITNESS TIP:

My thing is Leandro Brazil Buttlift.  Her thing is Weight Watcher's. They both work. Go choose one. There is nothing more to say.  

#13 HOT OVER 40! HAPPY HEALTHY HOT NEW YOU! 1/1/12

 TO DO LIST FOR A 2012 HAPPY, HEALTHY, HOT YOU!






 Celebrate yourself with a glass of champagne...







 Try something new just for the heck of it...





Say, "I love you" often...
Call your mother and compliment her...
Tell dad your proud of him...


 Eat really tasty food, you deserve the good stuff...
 

Take lots of long, long meandering walks...
Tell someone an unexpected truth that makes them smile...



Be especially kind to animals, children and the elderly...


Laugh as much as possible, as often as possible, and spend time with the ones who you care about the most...

Travel... explore... excite your mind...exercise your body.  LIVE!

#12 HOT OVER 40! SAY GOODBYE 12/30/11

Say goodbye...
Say goodbye to all your doubts and self-recriminations...
Say goodbye to your guilt, the late night food fests & self -prevarications...
Say goodbye to the 4th slice of pizza and the whoopie cookie binge...
Say goodbye to dressing room dread and summer clothing cringe...



Before the midnight bells ring 
 this is what I wish for you on January 1st 2012...
Joy ---   in your first breathe of the day as you open your eyes
Joy ---   as you feast on the sunshine and clouds and wonder of nature
Joy ---   as you plan all the activities that will make you smile.


Savor ---  your morning coffee
Savor ---  the first hug of the day from  your loved ones
Savor ---  every step forward, every smile, every kindness



   



    

    Keep ---  your wonder
    Keep ---  your hope
    Keep ---  your determination



 and think of all that you have and not what you want.


 You are your own creation
BREATHE DEEPLY   
Please, Do it all with Heart

HEALTHY TIP:   CRANBERRIES  Eating a heart healthy diet is one important step you can take to reduce your risk of heart disease & lower cholesterol. Cranberries contain no fat, no cholesterol, and very little sodium.   ( read entire article at www.uscranberries.com )

#11 HOTOVER 40! AN ITALIAN XMAS - BUON NATALE 12/25/11

BUON NATALE!
My Italian Christmas centers around   L’albero di Natale e Il pranzo di Natale
My mother started this tradition when we were little girls. Every year we would wake up very early and dress in a special outfit, usually red, to hop onto the express bus that deposited us right in front of The Metropolitan Museum of Art.  There we would climb the steps in anticipation, buy a button and then skip behind the grand staircase, into the Medieval hallways that opened majestically into the cavernous room that displayed the Christmas Tree and Neapolitan Creche.  Every year I was awestruck with a vision of splendor. Being Napoleatano it had and has special meaning. I continue this annual pilgrimage still.

Picking out our own tree was an annual sojourn.  Finding the perfect tree was critical.  To this day my trees have to be tall, chubby and full.  The lights (luci dell’albero di natale) always multi-colored, the ornaments (palline dell’albero di natale) varied and sentimental with silver tinsel as the final dressing. Our own Nativity creche (presepio)  nestled below in an undulating sea of red velvet and pine needles.  An Angel always set atop to look over us and keep us safe and warm.  Annual viewings of "White Christmas" (hence, my ongoing love affair with songs sung by Rosemary Clooney) were mandatory.  Today decorating the tree is a festive occasion of Medieval and Renaissance holiday songs and red wine. 

A Classic Italian canzone di Natale-     www.youtube.com/user/CoccoleSonore

 Our Italian Christmas was focused around food and family.
Xmas Eve (la vigilia di Natale) was dedicated to fish: shrimp appetizers, baked clams, bacala, broiled cod, drowned broccoli rabe better known as Christmas broccoli  and i dolci -chocolate biscotti and cartellate and the tall cupola-shaped panettone. Midnight Mass (la messa di mezzanotte) with friends or at home watching Il Papa in Rome, and then, opening gli regali, the presents.

At last, Christmas Day and Il pranzo di Natale (the Christmas day meal). It started with our own traditional antipasti of soppressatta, sharp provolone, roasted red peppers, olives, artichokes, mozzarella and bread sticks. Then a broth consisting of pasta, cappelletti in brodo, little hats stuffed with chopped meats.  Next, most people have turkey but our house was reserved for the Christmas lasagna stuffed with over 100 tiny meatballs, accompanied by hand rolled braesola.  To this day, friends, neighbors and family clamor for my mother's recipe as it has been handed down to me. (A guarded family secret)

Again, demitasse coffee and i dolci ---
 struffoli (Neapolitan honey pastry); cenci (fried pastry ribbons sprinkled with powered sugar); dried figs, candied almonds, and chestnuts.

Being also Calabrese, my father would recite the following children's rhyme from when he was a boy in the mountains of Serrapedace.

La filastrocca di Natale
Babbo Natale viene di notte,
              Father Christmas comes at night;
viene in silenzio a mezzanotte.           He comes in silence at midnight
Dormono tutti i bimbi buoni
              All the good children are sleeping
e nei lettini sognano i doni.               In their beds they dream of gifts.
Babbo Natale vien fra la neve           Father Christmas comes in the snow
porta i suoi doni là dove deve.
          He carries the gifts where they must go. 
Non sbaglia certo:                             He never makes a mistake.
conosce i nomi
 di tutti                       He knows all the names
quanti i bimbi buoni.                         Of all the good children.

un Natale pieno di amore,
pace e felicità

and don't forget a 5 mile run to work it all off.

More info at: www.imdb.me/joannabonaro

and

www.joannabonaro.com

Sojourn for your eyes and soul:
*The Metropolitan Museum of Art displays 18th-century Neapolitan crèche figures collected by Loretta Hines Howard and gifted to the museum with a Christmas Tree - until January 8, 2012. Lighting ceremonies on Tues., Wed., Thurs. & Sat. at 4:30pm and Frid. & Sun. at 4:30, 5:30 and 6:30pm   www.mma.org

#7 HOT OVER 40! FROM RED CARPET TO HILARITY PART 2 - or The Ecstasy then the Agony (#7)

We arrive in Dallas.  I know I am in the Lone Star State because as we are driving to the hotel we see two billboards. One states,  "GOD IS OUR SALVATION".  About 3 seconds later "GUN SHOW - CASH ACCEPTED". 

We arrive at our hotel, and find we have been upgraded to a suite. Sweet!  Debate whether to partake of some Texas chili but decide a good nights sleep is better.  Plus, I am not really eating anything that is not steamed or green until after the big event.  Instead, I  fill up on chamomile tea with lemon. 

I know - a poor second - but I told you I would be honest. 

(Do you remember the pic of Hillary Swank after she won the Oscar?  You don't think she did this too?  She was snarfing down a Big Mac n Cheese with gusto.  I love her for her refreshing honesty and fierce talent.)

Next day.  Wake up to warm sunshine and birds singing.  It was snowing back in New York about then, so I savor the  toasty rays saying to myself,  " another good sign." 
Like Catherine De Medici I am superstitious that way. 
Only she had visions and unfortunately I don't.
It might have proven useful later in the day. 
I layout the dress (which had its own suitcase - yup the entire suitcase had just one dress in it along with about 500 reams of tissue paper and crinkled dry cleaning plastic.) 
Put out the makeup.  Now, the makeup artist was bringing everything however, I am also the type who ALWAYS COMES PREPARED.  So I brought all of my "on camera hi-def" makeup --- in case we had a difference of opinion. 
As it turns out the makeup artist was an absolute angel along with being a great instructor on how one puts on false eyelashes.  A skill I have yet to attain.  She applies excessive eye makeup - up close this doesn't look natural, but does wonders when under bright lights. 
One must learn these things.
I had some slight misgivings on the hair-do when she teased it so that I looked like a raven colony had decided to nest, but she assuaged my doubts by stating, "by the time you get there it will have settled down."  My fleeting thought was, "hope the chicks are fed by then."

After she left it was time to put on the dress. 
A slight nervous breakdown occurred when the dress that fit perfectly in New York, suddenly would not zip up the back.  Hubby proved useless in this matter.  I think hubbies are usually useless in this matter of stuck zippers, but the only female I knew had just left so I was having a minor sweat attack along with worrying about the hair.  However, after15 minutes and endless attempts, the recalcitrant zipper decided to "play nice." Whew. 
Reapply deodorant.... carefully.   Then, shoes (which have been sanded on bottom so no slipping occurs) gold jewelry (not from Cartier but from Italy),  bag (remember to bring ID and cash plus I-phone -- on vibrate please , no room for a brush but the cement hairspray hopefully will hold out.)
Look in the mirror and   .......   THE TRANSFORMATION HAS BEEN ACHIEVED!
Like Maria in "West Side Story"  I feel pretty.  Hallelujah! 
I am ready with time to spare. 
Oh and in between hubby got dressed too.  But who really cared about that? Just kidding.  He looked very handsome. My leading man.

The phone vibrates.  It's the director.  "Don't worry, but the car that is coming to pick you up is running about 20 minutes late.  We can't arrive together. But the event is 5 minutes away so you should be OK.  We won't walk without you." 
20 minutes goes by.  No one arrives.  I call and get voicemail.  GREAT.
Finally another call.  "He is stuck in traffic.  He will be another 10 minutes." 
We were supposed to have been there by now.  After all this preparation I am going to miss the entire thing.
Another 15 minutes.  The anti-perspirant has stopped working. Voicemail. Again.
What to do? What to do?  Should I just hike up my dress and run over? 
(I told you how self-sufficient I can be. Plus I'm fit, remember?)
Finally, a call, "he should be there."  I am exhausted and the event is yet to happen.
I am thinking,  "can't something go smoothly, just once?"  Hubby about to give me a mini-massage and I scream, "watch the hair, watch the hair!"  Ah love.

We arrive. 
It looks exactly as one expects it too.  Lots of spectators milling about.  Lots and lots of press and photographers. Everyone is smiling. You can tell just by looking for the most part, who are the actors versus the directors, writers and producers.  The actors are always dressed and coiffed to the hilt.  It's just the way it is.  Plus their teeth are always so startlingly white. 
(Note to self: You forgot to doooooo thaaaaat! - 95% wattage will have to suffice)  
My director (whom I adore)  and executive producers look splendid and beautiful and radiant. 
And we are all smiling. 
We are assigned a handler.  This individual will escort us through the aisle leading up to the stage at our appointed time.  As we progress forward, people are waving hello and kissing the air and saying things like, "Let's meet for drinks later."  It's hard to hear anything.  I think I am being told to talk about the "female" slant of this film but can't really hear.  And now it's our turn.  The executive producer makes sure the film's poster is placed just so. 
It's time to step on the carpet which is a rich deep red.  
I give myself a moment to take it all in and "own it."  
I am not nervous at all.  In fact, I plan to have a ball. 
The camera's flash, light's pop everywhere, and as we progress down the stage we are stopped by reporters.  My lovely director introduces me as coming "all the way from New York City" which is touching, and the reporter looks at me and declares after having asked me about my role in the film, "How can you be from New York? You are so nice!"  I laughed at that and said, "It's hard not to be when one is in Texas. I think I will move here!"  I think she liked that. 
And so it went.  We were interviewed by the press for both print and TV and web and posed and smiled and laughed for about 45 minutes.  Ann -Margaret even interrupted me.  (It's okay to be cut off  by a legend.) 
Then it was over. Just like that. 
It was a piece of cake and I had a grand old time.  
I couldn't believe that I was even asked "who I wore." Hilarious.

Film premieres. Kiss, kiss, hug, hug.  Let's change and meet for drinks -----   Remember that dear reader!  You think I've already described the agony? HA!
We all part.  Hubby and I return to hotel suite.   Have about an hour and a half to kill before going out again.  Shower, change, very casual, low-key no pressure now.  Lost an eyelash in bathroom anyway. Impossible to locate. Hair back to raven color instead of avian gathering.  
Relaxing when hubby comes from living room to bedroom where I am resting, holding his stomach.  He lies down on bed and says.  "I don't feel so well." 
Not the least bit concerned I say - "What do you mean?" 
"My stomach  hurts."  (His stomach always hurts.)
"It's probably just gas, roll around on the bed a bit," I state unsympathetically. 
I am thinking, "what now, we have to go out soon!"
He moves around for about 5 minutes. Then doubles over and breaks out in a cold sweat.
"I am really in pain all of a sudden."  Jeez.
"Did you eat something since we came back?"  I am still not buying into this.
"No and I am really in pain.  Do you think I should go to the emergency room?"
This gets my attention. 
My husband would NEVER, EVER ASK ME if he should go to any emergency room. 
"You  would never, ever ask me if I think you should go to the emergency room!" I cry.
"Are you having an appendix attack?" 
We prod and poke.  His pain is kind of on the side of his waist.  No organ we can remember being there. 
"Are you sure you didn't eat something?"  "Are you having a heart attack?"
Even though the pain is located on his  right side and below the rib cage, I am starting now to worry. Big time.
He can't stand up but says,   "Maybe it will subside. After all we are going home tomorrow."
"If you are even thinking of an emergency room it means you should go. You can't have this happening on the plane. And what are you talking about anyway? You are white as newly bleached teeth and sweat is pouring off of you!" 
I pick up the phone to the receptionist. 
"My husband has become desperately ill.  Where is the nearest hospital?"
Being Texan, they were all so wonderful and helpful. Immediately.  No questions or attitudes.
Maybe we should move here.

We wind up at Baylor Hospital emergency room. 
Needless to say, an emergency room in downtown Dallas at midnight is as far away from a red carpet crowd as can be.  Plus their computer system went down resulting in  a 3 hour delay because processing all the incoming patients has to be done manually.  No one is used to doing that anymore. 
We sit in plastic chairs surrounded by moaning, suffering, bleeding, a screeching cat fight over a pimp, ( I kid you not) , a man who had beige bugs crawling over him, (is this a vision?!?) and mayhem until he is finally admitted at 4:15 AM. 
The admitting nurse asks us if we are willing to pay a $100 charge and is surprised when we say "yes." 
It appears that no one ever does.
Blood work, x-rays, and c-scans later, the doctor comes in to tell us - "Kidney Stones."
??!!!**##??!!!!!
Incredible. 
My husband looks at me, and with a twinkle in his eye restored, now that he is on mega-pain killers, and quips, "Well it's a good thing this didn't happen earlier.  You would have left me at the emergency room door. And I would have wanted you to. "  I say, "You are absolutely right, but I would have come back as soon as  it was all over."  Ah,  devotion.

We got back to the hotel at 6:30 AM.  And crashed.  Then hopped on a plane home by 4pm.

I think all the partying was over by then.  I didn't bother to check.  I didn't care.  I had my moment and more importantly, my husband by my side. 

So while everyone thinks I was living it up and leading such a glamorous life....

I say, "it's the grits that count."   Without love, it ain't much.  Ah Amore.  A-men.

BEAUTY TIP  --    studies show that wearing red increases athletic performance and may lead to more confidence. It may even make you push harder while working out!

Next.....  Carrots, Crunches, and Munchies

Hey follow me, just press the "f" button which isn't obscene just friendly. althoughwhateverworksforyou!

#4 HOT OVER 40! ON ITALIAN FRIENDSHIPS

My father always said to me, "you are lucky if you have 5 true friends during the course of a lifetime."
As a teenager, this seemed like rather a small number.  However, after a lifetime of people coming and going during the different phases of my life, that number now seems very large.  Of course it all depends on how one defines the term "friendship."
For an Italian, I believe it means, you have become family.  And family, for an Italian, is everything. 
This will not happen overnight. 
Nor will there ever be an official induction.
Nor do I mean for you to envision the pop culture iconography of everyone happily sitting down to dinner, spreading good cheer and loving kindness. 
There are many Italian families, like mine, who are reminiscent of the Borgias.  If you know your history, not the most likable clan. 
But they did protect their own.
However, the bottom line is that through thick and thin, if you are lucky enough to be included in that very exclusive circle it can mean quite alot.
It means, not keeping count, or lists of what you did and what I did in return.  It means, no questions asked if you need money to pay your rent.  And then take 5 years to pay it back.  Or usually, after awhile it means, "no worries, I don't remember you borrowing any money at all."  Our long memories can become quite sketchy when you are in that beloved though bickering inner circle.  It means, when you phone at 3 AM because you need help, you get a "I will be right over" response instead of all the reasons why you would but regretfully can't help. It means inconveniencing oneself to help out another.  It means if my cousin has an MBA and you need help with a business plan, well, a phone call will generate alot of advice, phone conversations and edits --- all for free. Or a doctor's appointment or a  "reference" from someone with some influence even though you never worked for them, or a blood donation, or even getting an uncle to put in a new sink in the basement - at a basement price.
It also means, that all the things you ever did count -- alot. And eventually you will get alot more in return than you ever dreamed.  Even something like, a place to call home if there is no where else to go in your old age. We invented the phrase, "just in case...". 
The downside is that you are now included in the favors for this or that, and never ending worries about everything and anything.  You are now involved in the emotional upheavals, the phone calls and conversations and basically anything that you would ask your father, sister, brother, mother to do without a second thought.  Over and over and over again. Then over again...again. 
That is why alot of Italians say, "managia" under their breathes and throw up their hands. Usually this means being a major pain in the butt, along with fighting and impatience and thoughts of, "I really want to throw you out the window right now."
Of course you don't. You verbally duke it out, sometimes rather loudly, but then after you've let off steam, and everyone's said what they really thought, no brain editing involved, everyone has a cup of coffee.  Preferably at the kitchen table.
Not the dining room, living room, or family room. 
Case closed. 
And in my life experience,this type of mindset 99.9% of the time occurs when you are from a blue collar boroughs background.  Not scientific, I know, just experiential. 
Oh another thing - this inclusion does not happen alot.  It takes time.
That's why the number is only a handful. 
So if you are the type who keeps count, or fumes silently, or has time limit expectations, I would take these insights or warnings to heart.  Ultimately the relationship just won't last.
Being part of la famiglia has it's pitfalls but I prefer it than any other kind of friendship in the world.
And dad's number doesn't seem so small after all.  Just true.  Like an Italian friendship, indeed.

Italian Meal Tip -  one of my favorite books for low calorie Italian recipes is

  99% Fat Free Italian Cooking - by Barry Bluestein & Kevin Morrissey, Published by Doubleday
    all of your favorite dishes with less than 1 gram of fat.  One of my favorites is Monkfish Osso Buco.
    PS make Garlic your friend. Learn low fat ingredient alternatives  ---   Become a Bella Buongustiao